This is not the way it is supposed to be!!!
I had plans for Christmas!! For the first time in years I was going to be able to spend Christmas with my Mom, brother and his family!! The military had finally moved us close enough to my side of the family that we could actually drive to visit! That hasn’t been the case in 15 years!!! The kids got out of school on Friday and we loaded up the car on Saturday and over the hills and through the woods…to Gramma Betty’s house we went! The kids were super excited to spend the week with Gramma Betty and also couldn’t wait to hang out with Logan, their older, “very cool” cousin!
The first day went off without a hitch. Normal family stuff…laughing, shopping, laughing some more!! But then….the second night. Jake came around the corner after his bath and declared “I am going to throw up!” And throw up he did..twice..right in the middle of my Mom’s living room floor. Of course, being the caring mother that I am, my first thought was “He was just in the bathroom!! Why didn’t he throw up in there!! Now I have to clean this up!!!” (don’t judge me!) So we hustled him into the bathroom, cleaned up the tile (thank you God it wasn’t carpet) floor and prayed that it was just a one time event. I also prayed that it was food poisoning so I wouldn’t get sick too….I mean so the rest of my sweet children wouldn’t get sick!! Unfortunately, this was not a one time event. Jake proceeded to throw up every forty-five minutes for the next four hours and then, for the next four hours, proceeded to throw up so hard he also pooped his pants. (Yes, he will hate me for revealing that someday…but he is only 8 now and he doesn’t care…and I really need you to understand what I was dealing with!)
Now I need to set the scene. My Mom lives in a small, three bedroom house. All the kids were in one room and Matt and I were in the double bed in the other guest room. We put Jake on an air mattress beside the double bed in our room so all the floor space was gone. You had to move the air mattress to open the door…but if we left the door open then the dog, who was sleeping at the foot of the bed would escape and chew up my Mom’s house. My Mom also keeps the house at 78…so it was hot…which doesn’t really add to the story…but I was sweating and cranky at this point so I thought I would let you know. Matt and I took turns getting up, tripping over the dog, rushing Jake to the bathroom, cleaning him up, getting him back to bed and finding the escaped dog and hustling her back into the room. All of this while glaring at the other parent who was pretending to sleep through the whole ordeal.
By 5:30am…I was worried, really worried about Jake. I got up and went to Walmart to get things to hydrate my sweet boy. Matt got up and took Jake to the urgent care. By this time Jake was dry-heaving so hard his whole body would hunch over. He looked at Matt and said “Will it ever stop…” Matt’s heart is still breaking.
The doctor gave Jake Zofran and, after dissolving one under his tongue, he finally stops dry heaving. Matt and I are worried that if we stay at my Mom’s she may get the virus so before anyone else starts throwing up, and now that Jake has stopped throwing up, we will pile everyone in the car and drive the five hours home. We run around packing and saying goodbye and head to the truck….the keys are locked in the truck…with the truck running!! Really????? Really!!
We wait for the roadside assistance to unlock the truck and hit the road. As I am sitting in the middle of the back seat of the truck, Jake curls up, puts his head in my lap and falls asleep. I look up towards the ceiling, with tears in my eyes I whisper to God…”This isn’t how Christmas was supposed to be.” He whispered back “Ask Mary how she thought Christmas would be.”
I had to let that one sink in. But then I received the most beautiful perspective…one I had never thought of before. When the angel told Mary she was going to give birth to the Lord of Lords and King of Kings…the savior of the world…I am pretty sure that she didn’t picture herself riding on a Donkey nine months pregnant. Shoot…they won’t even let us ride on an airplane after eight months…let alone ride on a donkey!! I am pretty sure she didn’t picture herself shivering in the cold, laying down on dirt and hay, in the dark. In a flea infested barn…next to sheep and cows and mice and bugs, giving birth to The King!! I will admit, I usually have an “Away in a Manger” scene in my head when I think of this night…dim candle light, cattle mooing along to the music and what not!! But honestly, the Savior of the world was born, with labor pains, blood and crying, in a cold, damp, dirty barn next to animals…with no doctor in site!! I am guessing that Mary might have had the thought “This isn’t the way it was supposed to be!” But this was the way it was supposed to be…this was the way God planned for it to be. For the Lord of Lords to be born with the most humble of beginnings, to walk on this Earth with nothing but an amazing Faith in His Father and His Father’s plan. So that at the end of His life He could look at each one of us and comfort us and say “I have walked where you have walked and I know what you are going through and if you trust in me, I will be with you, I will lead you out of pain and tears and into peace and joy.” God asked Mary to trust Him and He saved the world.
This may not have been the way Mary thought it would be. But we now know this is exactly how God meant for it to be. God was asking me to apply that same kind of perspective to my Christmas night, to my life. Even in the times when I say “I didn’t think it would be like this!” I can trust that God is in control and His plan will always be beautiful.
So there I was, on Christmas Eve, in the back seat of the truck, with my precious son asleep on my lap. I was not where I planned to be…but I was where my Heavenly Father planned for me to be that night. And in that knowledge I would rest and find peace. I stroked my son’s hair and looked up again and thanked God for taking care of my son and for getting us home safely on this cold winter night. And for teaching me that no matter what the circumstances look like, God is at work on something beautiful.
And the next day, as my son lay in my arms still sick, I watched the snow come down. I stayed in my jammies all day. I watched my other two children laugh and play in the snow. I watched old movies with my hubby. We sang happy Birthday to Jesus. And it was one of the most peaceful, beautiful Christmas’ I remember. You see, God had been gracious enough to teach me to trust that no matter what the circumstance ,He was in charge and something beautiful could come from it. I knew this for a fact because He proved it on that cold, dark Christmas night over two thousand years ago, the day God saved the world.
His grace is enough for me! 
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